Vomit?

I'm having one of those odd life moments. I walked into my bathroom and found an unidentifiable substance on my sink. It didn't look like vomit, but I had no other plausible explanation for what else it even might be.
-TC

No More Porn

I think I am either unemployed or I work for National Lampoon now. I'm really not sure which.
-TC

Hypothetical

So, let's play the hypothetical game. Let's say, hypothetically, you're at work. And you're working. And you overhear a conference call involving raised voices and more than one occurrence of the word "bankruptcy." Would you be concerned?
-TC

Montreal

Yesterday I went to Montreal for a sandwich. And then I drove back.

While there, I also ate poutine. For the uninitiated, it is a French Candadian dish consisting of french fries smothered in brown gravy and cheese curds. And while it sounds like the most disgusting thing ever, it was actually quite delicious.

But the real revelation of the day was the Coke. I ordered a Coke in Canada, expecting nothing out of the ordinary, and discovered that they make it with sugar rather than high-fructose corn syrup. The difference was astounding. Clearly this is a truly great civilization.
-TC

Spaghetti

Today at work I somehow managed to go the entire day without making any porn. But I did see a nude lady rolling around in a giant bowl of spaghetti. As she was more frolicking in than cavorting with the pasta, I'm pretty sure it doesn't count.
-TC

Doctor Atomic

Yesterday I went to a live broadcast of the premiere of an opera about Los Alamos called Doctor Atomic. I felt a bit silly, as it was being broadcast from The Met, which was about three blocks away from the theater I was in.

Knowing nothing about opera as I do, it was an enjoyable experience. The stage design was very good, the singers and orchestra both performed very well. And an interesting depiction of how the scientists coped with the moral dimension of their work, or, more frequently, avoided the moral dimension entirely. All around an enjoyable afternoon at the opera at the movies.
-TC

Jobs

Yesterday I found the perfect job. It was as an assistant editor, and only involved using programs I am pretty proficient with. Plus, it sounded like a cool, laid-back work environment where I could meet new people, learn new things, and generally enjoy myself. The only odd thing was that part of the application process involved going to their website and writing about what your favorite video was and why. It struck me as unusual, but whatever, if it gets me a job that isn't in porn, I'll write as many essays as they want. But then I went to their website and found that it was one of the many sites marketing themselves as "The YouTube of Porn."

I hope it goes without saying at this point that I didn't apply. Nor did I hang around long enough to determine what my favorite video was or why. Though I suppose if they need an answer, it was the one that kept me from discovering that I was a pornographer two months after I accepted the job.
-TC

In Poor Taste

I managed to come up with the best Halloween costume assembled entirely from the few things I could steal from the costume rack at work that came in the "freakishly large" size. I had middle-eastern clothing, a slightly undersized bowler, and a fake severed head. I was Lou Costello in Abbott and Costello Meet the Iraqi War Correspondent. Fortunately for the sake of taste, I had nowhere to go, so no one else was subjected to my genius.
-TC